Welcome! For those of you who read yesterday's post, you know that I am looking to make some changes in my life. I'm tired of feeling sad every day. Even my birthday was a nothing-burger. I got a card from my husband, and some well-wishes from co-workers and friends on social media, but that was it. No gifts, no food, no flowers, no outing of any sort... it was just another day. I honestly can't remember the last time that I received a birthday gift or a Christmas gift or even a Mother's day meal. I think my last gift was a Wonder Woman poster and coffee cup from my husband, which I loved. That was more than 5 years ago, before that, I have no clue.
I'm tired of feeling like my life's purpose is to make other's happy; to pay the bills, do the shopping, work work work, schedule doctors appointments and home repairs. I thought I was doing things that would make me happy, instead I got clinically depressed, loaded with anxiety and just a feeling of bitterness about life. This is not the path that I wish to stay on, so after talking to my therapist, we thought it might be a good idea to create a bucket list, and share it in this space. With that said, here is my bucket list.
Cherita's Bucket List
- Get a tattoo - I've wanted one since I was about 20 years old.
- Write that novel, and keep writing - Writing is my first true love, and I feel like I'm missing a part of myself since I stopped making it a priority.
- Photography - Before COVID I was getting pretty good at photography. I still had a lot to learn, but I enjoyed it and I want to get back to that.
- Travel - When I left Buffalo more than 25 years ago, I had grand plans to travel to new places. I got the travel bug when I visited my brother in Hong Kong oh so many years ago. Since then, I wanted to see more. I started to see more, but these days I mostly just hang out in my house. I want to get out more, even if it's just to visit family and friends, which leads me to my next item...
- Visit family and friends more - I just came back from a visit to see my family, which was expedited because I dad is in poor health. It was then that I realized that the last time I was home was 10 years ago. I am all about family, and somehow I let 10 years and several deaths happen before going home. I've got to do better.
- More pets - I also want another dog for Cooper to play with and a cat or two. I always imagined that my home would be filled with animals.
- Move my body more - I let my body and health fall by the wayside, and it literally is killing me. I need to become more active, walk more, start riding a bike again, taking Cooper to the dog park, working outside. The plan is to just start moving my body towards better health.
- Express my feelings - I don't always tell people everything I need to, because I never want to hurt feelings or make someone angry. However, that means that I'm hurting myself, and building resentment. I need to overcome this and start saying what's on my mind. I don't mean that I'd suddenly be mean, that's not who I am. It does mean that I'd be more of my authentic self.
- Eat Healthier - this is part of getting my mind and body in better health. I need to cook more and choose healthier options whenever possible.
That's it for now, although I'm sure I'll be adding to the list over time. Wish me luck!