Today I'm feeling a bit down and overwhelmed; I work all day at a job where the people are great, but I'm not happy.
My background is graphics and web design, but most of the days I'm just trying to keep up with the databases (Access, Genesis, SAP) and file tracking.
My days usually consist of 10-12 hours of working and traveling to and from work; I come home and relieve Vid of Aliana care and she and I hang out until her bedtime; while caring for Aliana I am also working on building my web and graphic design business (I would like that to be my full-time job by year's end), I try to cook dinner whenever possible (I cook most weekend meals), try to fit in cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming the floors, shampooing the kitchen carpet and whatever else I can do to around the house, and make time to spend with my husband. Sometimes I just can't keep up with it all, and I have to let some things go. I can't quit my job just yet, I will not give up my time with Aliana or Vid, and I need (for my own joy and satisfaction) to focus on my home business... so what else is there to fall behind? The housework. Of course, if I let this slide for too long, others are not happy.
I've been wanting to start writing again, but where do I fit that into my schedule? Writing is a huge part of who I am, and I'm beginning to feel lost without it.
How do I balance everything that I want to do? How do I find harmony in the midst of chaos?
Please understand that Vid is just as busy as I am, some day's more so. He keeps the house running as smoothly as he can (not an easy task some days); he keeps the laundry and kitchen clean, takes out the garbage, shovels the snow, run Dad and numerous (sometimes spontaneous) errands, he cares for and homeschools Aliana, he is involved in multiple committees and events at church (these are just a few of things he has on his plate). He does more for our household then a lot of fathers I've known. He is an amazing man, who like me, can feel sad and overwhelmed by daily demands.
So by what means can I help myself improve my life? I want to get more organized and I want to communicate more efficiently. To that end I am taking a course at church which is actually taught by my wonderful husband; it's called Communicating Compassionately, and so far I've liked it. I will probably write more about it in the weeks to come. I'm also working on becoming more organized, I'm convinced that it is the lack of organization that's contributing to making my lifeless wonderful.
I'm feeling a bit better now, I guess I just needed to vent. I think I will go now, have a wonderful day and please stop by again.,