Have you ever just stopped and really taken a good look at your life? Like, actually thought about it and felt like something's a little off? You’re not super mad about it, but you’re not exactly thrilled either. All those dreams you had when you were younger feel like they're from a different lifetime, and you start questioning if you even dreamed them at all.
That's kind of where I'm at right now. At 55, I can barely remember what it was like to chase after my dreams. I used to dream of traveling, writing, and being totally independent. Honestly, I thought I'd be doing way more by now.
These days, it feels like I'm just grinding through each day. My happiness seems to be fading a bit more with every sunrise. I’ve started believing the story I’ve been telling myself—that this is just my life now. I’m a mother, a wife, an employee, a business owner, and, to be honest, not the greatest homemaker. Everything I do is just to keep the bills paid and my family taken care of. But in all of that, I rarely stop to ask, “Who’s taking care of me?” Spoiler alert: it sure wasn’t me.
But taking a step back has made me realize that I need those dreams back in my life. I need to start looking after myself. The tricky part? I have no idea how to do that.
I’m now in week two of trying to live a healthier life. I kicked out the junk food, switched to a high-protein diet, and began 16/8 intermittent fasting last week. This week, I’m keeping that up and adding 30 minutes a day on the stationary bike. I'm really proud of myself for starting this journey and doing it for me. Still, everything else feels like a chaotic mess.
Deep down, I know things are shifting for me, and that’s both exciting and a little scary. Where will this change take me? What’s my life going to look like when I fully embrace it? I never thought in my 20s and 30s I’d be dealing with an existential crisis in my 50s. Is this really the path I'm supposed to be on? How can I be better to myself and my loved ones?
Guess I’ve got more thoughts to explore…