Hi everyone. welcome back! Today has been quite the day and I just need to vent a little bit—not just today, but life in general has been so overwhelming. Like so many others, I have a lot on my plate. I work an average of 60 hours a week, between my full-time day job and running my business, juggling meetings and deadlines, all while wearing the “mom hat” of a neurodivergent young adult, and the “wife hat.” Lately, those hats are starting to feel like they're weighing me down.
Today was brutal. Work was busy—I started the day with an 8:30am meeting with my Supervisor, the Office Manager and the Owner of the company. Let's just say, it was an eye-opener. I still love my job and they love working with me, but starting a Thursday with an 8:30 meeting is never good. I left the meeting feeling more stressed than when it started, and that set the tone for the rest of my day. Yeah, that's how today started. I wish I could say it got better after that, but shortly after the meeting, and just before my second meeting of the day which was at 9:30 am, I received a call that added another layer to my already overwhelming day. My doctor ordered a nuclear stress test for me, with the cardiologist. They called to schedule the appointment and informed me that it is going to cost more than $1,700 out-of-pocket! Seriously? How can anyone afford that? We certainly can’t right now. I told them I will have to call them back after I talk to the insurance company.
And if that wasn’t enough, I had to contend with an empty refrigerator. We’re running low on groceries and toiletries, and all I could think about was how I needed to do some shopping soon. Oh, but there's mored. My husband called me when he got to work to let me know that we received a notice from the Village about a water leak? Yes, we have a water leak which is causing us to have higher than usual bills and they need to schedule a time to come out and assess the issue. My husband wanted me to do a couple of things: call the Village to find out how long the leak has been present, and also go downstairs in the laundry room to locate the shut-off valve and turn the water off in the meantime. No big deal, right? Just another task on my never-ending to-do list!
And then there's my child. They’ve been dealing with some hearing issues, so I need to get that doctor’s appointment scheduled, along with a dental appointment and a surgical consult to remove a cyst. But with everything else on my plate, making those calls today was impossible. I was so busy at work that I didn't eat until after 5:30 PM. What a day!
My child could see how stressed I was, though they missed all the crying today, and insisted that I take an hour to myself tonight to watch Doctor Who, and try to make some of those calls tomorrow. They told me to pick my favorite episode of Doctor Who, and let them know when I was going to watch it so they wouldn't bother me. It’s those little moments that remind me I’m not completely alone in this chaos.
When I told my husband I didn’t have time today, he expressed some disappointment. He said that he had hoped I’d at least manage to make that one call to shut off the water to avoid a higher bill. Here I am, stretched so thin, and feeling like I’m letting everyone down.
Honestly, I’m just so tired of everything right now. I’m tired of the never-ending responsibilities, tired of feeling like I’m not doing enough for my family, and frankly, tired of feeling like I’m not doing enough for myself.
I know I’m not alone in this. But some days, it just feels like too much. I'm not liking my life right now, and I’m sharing this because I need to remind myself that it’s okay to feel this way.